Planet Earthling - Galactic Terrorists or Roguish Evolutionary Dunces?
Planet Earthling
Galactic Terrorists or Roguish Evolutionary Dunces?
A GALACTIC NEWS BULLETIN
by Galactic News correspondent 34.232.490.901 [Richard Walker]
filed at 230.908.435.1200 Galactic Mean Timeacknowledgements to Douglas Adams, author of “A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”
Synopsis:
Alarming information feeds from the remote Galaxy ZEWEUWQQI, sometimes called Sleeping
Satanic Spirals, indicate activities which call for immediate deployment of
counter-insurgency demolition forces under Galactic Planetary Decree
#225.344.239.294
It seems inevitable to this reporter that once these Earthling Religious Fanatics discover the provable absence of a Divine Dictator, they will take violent action. Since their most stable civilizations [term used loosely here] are based on mutually exclusive monodic godheads, it is only a matter of time before the big three join forces and perpetrate terrorism on their little corner of the universe, in the name of all three One and Only Gods who’s existence they have just disproved.
They will undoubtedly realize that their cluster’s star, a yellow youngster of type YY131.009 is the most powerful potential weapon within their grasp. This reporter need not remind Galactic News readers that the technology required to initiate a stellar collapse and novation sequence is all over the galactic infoplane, and more to the point, is self-evident soon after a pre-telligent species starts connecting sub-atomic dots with silly-string theories.
All of the indicators for a stellar suicide bomb are in place and it is our duty to protect our Galactic Hinterlands from further de-volutionary decline and to ensure its continued service as the vacation getaway of galactic choice. It would be upsetting to have a new Atomic Streamliner damaged on its first voyage as bits of EarthStar zing past the StreamProtect anti-matter agent.
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