Laura Flanders

I'm a long time fan of Laura's, from her days with FAIR's CounterSpin , to Your Call on KALW, to Air America, and now The Nation magazine's radio show / podcast.

I'm looking forward to reading her book Blue Grit.

 

Fair

Amy Goodman, LF, Cindy Sheehan 1.preview

When she went to Crawford to support Cindy Sheehan's efforts, I contributed this:

The Emperor's New Fascista Fashions

As the crowds and cameras admired the emperor's new frock-coats, brown-shirts, jack-boots and epaulets, little Cindy worked her way passed the barricade, stood with one hand on her hip, pointed at the emperor and said in a clarion voice:

"BUT HE'S COMPLETELY NAKED!"

Everyone laughed, and cried, and moaned "Oh my lord, she's right!"

And they all lived happily ever after.

Blue Grit: Making Impossible, Improbable, and Inspirational Political Change in America

Laura Flanders

JohnCleese

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary."

   Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of thereinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit, or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents -- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", But only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest very twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you Understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85%of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

    Thank you for your co-operation.

Gabriela on Wikipedia

Gabriela Frank

Watch Gabriela on YouTube (3 mins)

Gabriela's Published Scores at Schirmer's

I have a copy of her fantastic Sonata Andina, which is dedicated to Ginastera, and has Ginastera's ideal marriage of Latin influence and European (or modern) keyboard technique.

It seems she was granted a Carnegie Hall Commision recently. Way to go! Thanks to Sarah Cahill are in order for steering me in Gabriela's direction.

Sonata Andina at Home

Worms (photo: Pierre Gautreau)

A marvelous band of Canadian troublemakers produce music that is original, hilarious, and pleasing.  Arrogant Worms are to Canadian music what Kids In The Hall were to Canadian television.

They are still recording and touring, as you can see on the Official Site.

Unlike Bob Rivers, almost all of their music is original.

Bob Rivers is still twisting holiday classics. I find the music is often hilarious, often offensive, and always well produced. I much prefer Bob Rivers to Weird Al.

BobRivers

UPDATE: Damn you, Jim Henson Company, for taking down the YouTube video. Boo!

The recent film trilogy Cube , Cube 2: Hypercube and Cube Zero were evidently remakes of an old television play called (trapped in a) Cube.

The original TV Cube is on YouTube, 53 low fidelity minutes, worth every one.

The first Cube film was quite gripping and high tech and makes good use of math as a plot element. Cube 2: Hypercube went a bit far in the thriller/horror sense, but you'll want to see it if you liked Cube. I haven't seen Cube Zero.

Other films featuring higher math and physics as part of the plot are Primer and Aronofsky's Pi.

50px-8-cell-simple

In addition to cheap construction, poor sound insulation, poor ventilation, poor heating, cheap and leaky windows, awkward mini blinds, negligible privacy, decrepit elevators, smelly hallways, expensive and useless laundry facilities, you will also get a management firm that doesn't provide a manager on site, but does send out threatening letters in bulk on the 6th of the month, should you be a few days late on the rent. And, even if your check was in the mail, you will be levied a late fee on your next invoice.

Not to worry, there's always a vacancy! Perhaps because they have gained a reputation for litigiousness and refusal to refund security deposits. What a shame I didn't find this or this or this or this when I googled the management company before I moved in.

No surprise that this building has a Rotten Neighbor, who said some outlandish rubbish almost certainly about me, and is quite the liar. I'd love to ferret him out and confront him with his cowardly nastiness. I'm quite perplexed at his tactics, since I am much less inclined to be considerate of my immediate neighbors after reading his comments. If I had treatable allergies, I would know. It's possible I'm mildly allergic to this building, the cleaning products they use, and to rotten neighbors.

Regardless, I won't be browbeaten into coughing into a pillow or blowing my nose in the closet so as to not offend a pathetic little man who doesn't know how to dress up a noise complaint of this sort with fake concern. "Are you ill? I'm only asking because you sound like you are sick or have serious allergies..."

I also would never consider depriving myself of ventilation by closing the only windows I have in order to make such a person's life less miserable.

On the plus side: a six month lease. Nice built-in shelving unit. Good closet space. And, an invitation to jam with a nice neighbor who heard some piano music.

On the neutral side: I have heard people in flagrante delicto a few times, but I can cover it or mix it with appropriate audio. One instance was rather impressive. It would never occur to me to complain about such a thing, as I immediately realized it is the fault of the building, not the individuals engaged in the acts.

The management company owns several apartment buildings in San Francisco and is building a massive new complex... it will have some below market units, allegedly. Digging began for phase one on December 11, 2007.

MissScarlett

(deep southern drawl)

"Rhett! Rhett! Please! You must help me stop the war on Tara! It's all I have!"

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn what you do anymore"

Miss Scarlett makes a gown from her red drapes and goes off to Washington to stop the madness.

"War on Tara indeed! I'll stop them!
for Tomorrow is...... Another Day!!!!!!"

(Music swells in background; Max Steiner)

Scarlettgown